Silence.

the concept of silence is often associated with something bad..

silence due to anger..silence due to hostility..silence due to indifference..

silence due to death..silence kills.

and many a time, throughout our lives..when we get the ‘silent treatment’..

we often get terrified, agitated and saddened by it..

and i, for one, fall under that category..

i hate the silence.

i hate being ignored..i hate being lost because there is no direction..

i hate feeling empty because there is no communication..

i hate..s.i.l.e.n.c.e.

but yesterday morning..i really felt a sense in my heart that silence is more often than not..a good thing..a solution to many situations..a character moulding process..a love expression..

silence cause you to calm down before venting an unwanted anger, causing unnecessary hurt..

silence cause you to linger, to ponder, to derive the best and most effective solution to many situations..

to sort out your thoughts and emotions, to find the courage to fight the next second of noise…

silence cause you to focus on the here and now, to enjoy the moment, to soak in the satisfaction..to love, ultimately..

but silence is also an avenue to draw you closer..to build your character..so that the relationship can become stronger and mature..to relate at a higher level..

God ALWAYS uses silence.

when we feel dry and weary..and when God seem so faraway..

He becomes a silent God..He stops speaking..stops giving you direction..stops comforting you..

it is AS IF, He stops loving you..

but the fact of the matter is..His silence IS the expression of love for you..

as He knows that the silence is the only necessary thing to make you grow..

to become stronger..to become tougher..

to want to draw closer to Him..

when whatever we ask..we get..whatever we knock, it would be open..whatever we seek, we find..

things become too easy and we take things for granted..

we become too reliant..

but often enough, we forget…

when we ask..there is the process of waiting for a response before we get..

when we knock..there is the process of waiting at the door before it is open..

when we seek..there is a process of waiting for the desired to appear before it is found..

silence equates to waiting.

and we humans hate to wait..

but its through the waiting period that we learn to stand on our two feet, take up the cross..

put on our armour..and FIGHT.

it is the waiting period that we loose the reliance (baby syndrome)..and become independent (a mature son) with character..

it is through the waiting period that we want more of the desired..we crave, we hunger..

and when He finally responses..we learn to appreciate more, thank more, believe more..

have faith more..

we become closer in a relationship..

it is through the waiting period..that i realize the love He has for me..

silence can build you up, if you want it to..

so, silence is an opportunity for us to grow..not a time to complain..

it is a time for us to immerse ourselves in the now..focus on the things we have..

and make the best out of it..

it is a time to seek more, love more..and have faith.

i have had the ‘silence treatment’..and i am still trying to know the purpose of it..

but one thing for sure..in the silence..

i finally find peace with myself.

“i probably don’t understand all the time..and i probably don’t understand it totally..but i will try..slowly but surely..i am starting to discover what your love for me is all about..”

The Best of San Diego :)

so, it came to the last day..and man..wasn’t it the best day..

i think san diego is famous for their beaches and they are totally NOT overrated..

the morning started with the beautiful couple, hilda and indra, bringing us to a very sweet and quaint breakfast place, “the cottage”! my god, the food there is just simply ooh lala!:D

they served some really appetizing cinnamon, walnut cake while you wait in queue!

i fell in love with “eggs benedict”…mammalicious! :9

the couple and the spread of food..1. stuffed french toast (caramelized fruits) 2. omelette 3. eggs benedict

hilda suggested that we go to yet ANOTHER beach..called the ‘La Jolla Coast’…

when i first heard..all i thought was..”oh! another beach…..AGAIN!”

but let me tell you guys..it was the BEST experience of beaches i have ever had..

maybe because of my mood..and how the wind comforted me..

or maybe because of where my heart was longing..and how the horizon allured me to see beyond the impossible..

or maybe its just because La Jolla Coast is just magnificently beautiful..

i loved that place..it was another one of those ‘wished you were here’ moments…but seriously..if i had more time..i would love to walk slowly..stand still and gaze at the ocean..soak and breathe in the life that exudes from this coast..

nature’s beauty..one of God’s greatest gift..:)

and yes!there were seals!!!hahaha

after that breathtaking (because it was SOOOO cold and windy also) experience..we went to phil’s bbq..another famous foodie place for its ribs and all that…

i must say..it was gooood..much much much better than all you can expect from cafe cartel..haha the beef ribs were awesome:)

then i went to Rock Church..some church in downtown..my greatest takeaway is..

they embrace the cultural mandate..live by it and show it practically to the congregation and the rest of the community..

the sermon was simple and basic…but that’s beyond the point..

the way it was conveyed..through drama..and a creative storyline to teach the Word..makes people come with anticipation and builds an expectation that there will be a transformation after the series:) and Rachel Lampa was there…the one that sang ‘No Greater Love’..awesome song!

this is by far the best day i have had in san diego..and the Lord ended it well..by reminding me with a great encouragement and affirmation…

a beauteous sky..

like he always said..and i always thought..

“what a beautiful sky…it always reminds me that God is there and how great He is..”

the best of san diego.

The Divine Plan.

i never really understood..

what does this “God’s divine plan for your life”..

is really all about..

only recently, when i sat and pondered..

then i realized..my ENTIRE life..

is God’s divine plan..to allow me to reach my destiny..

but not just to reach it..but to be able to sustain it..

this is a thank-You post.

recently, my dad smsed me to pray for our house is australia to get sold off at a good price..

this is really impt as now rachel is on to medical school..and per year her education cost a ‘superlicious’ 60k..four years means 240k..(aussie dollars that is..)

so, if we could sell this house at 300k..her education will be more or less settled..which means a HUGE load off my parents’ back..

and to think about it..my dad was still complaining about this property we bought when my bro was born..in case he decided to go brisbane to study in this teens..but of cos, he didnt and my dad was really thinking about selling the house and sorta regretting buying it the first place..

but now, it could be the only solution to make our cashflow smoother..and of cos more money for me, the youngest one, to spend….(for educational and constructive reasons, of cos )

so anyway..whilst thinking about it..its really God’s divine plan..from my dad buying the house to him slogging his way through to pay it off..to slogging his way to pay off our local property (that is making profits too)..to being debt free..and now trying to sell of the property to allow this family to be even more prosperous..

God works in wonders..period.

He knows what are the thoughts He thinks toward us..of a future and a hope..

be it the most minute thing..and maybe in our eyes, the most insignificant..

but the interplay of who we meet, what we do, how we did it, where and when..

reflects the DIVINE plan that God has for our lives..

and we must trust that EVERYTHING will work out for the good to those who love God (Rom 8)..

even if the situations and seasons we go through may seem like ‘CRAP!’..

but its really for a future and a hope..

but we always punch our fists up in the air..blaming God for everything that goes wrong in our lives..but maybe without it..we wouldnt be tasting the successes we are today..

so wouldnt it be easier to KNOW what He is trying to do in our lives..know the season He is putting us through..know what He plans to do…

AND GET INVOLVED IN IT? (instead of complaining and whining)

thinking about it, God has already shown this nature of His in our natural bodies..where He allows infection to take place, to make us rest..antibodies to get rid of unwanted stuff etc etc..

He is awesome, isnt He?

God has 纸上谈兵 before we were born..

and seriously..His strategy will make us victorious..He will win this battle for us on Earth..

if He is for, who can be against us?

p.s.: this is just one of the many incidents that happened this week now i am more sure than ever, i’m blessed.

Jer 29:10-14

I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place.  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

(from New International Version)

Relationships #3: The Truth About Evolution

many people condemn evolution that it is against God’s laws etc..

but when i look into it a little deeper…

it may not be all that a taboo..

the main theme abt evolution is “SURVIVAL of the FITTEST“..

it is abt adaptation and how that helped in ur battle..

everything that evolution stands for..

our emotions, thoughts, instincts etc..

are all self-serving..we want to save ourselves..then our own kind..

what’s so erred about that?

when Adam and Eve sinned, pride, selfishness and independence from God set in..

we lived for ourselves..to protect, to survive as the FITTEST..

good results, great reputations, our excellent facades..

many relationships………………..(haha)

so maybe, evolution did happen and it simply highlights the happenings aft sin came into the world..and shows the current condition of man and his behaviour..well, the monkey part is just funny though..i view it more like a 画蛇添足..but as i have always learnt, looking similar doesn’t prove we came from there..it just means we came from the same Designer:)

ok, so what about relationships..

i read in psychology about the evolutionary perspective about males and females in dating r/s..

males, they say, want their genes to be passed on from generations to generations..

and they want their genes to have strong sustainability..

so they desire/instinctively want multiple partners..

so that’s the reason why guys find it harder to commit to one..they are less insensitive and more concerned about themselves…

females, they say, are more selective in their partners..as they are the ones carrying the offspring for 9mths, they must make sure their partner has the capability and trustworthiness to follow through that 9mths..

also, as they have invested so much during the 9 mths..they aren’t so willing to give up on their offspring and their partners..

so females tend to be more insecure, self-sacrificing..and TOLERANT (esp to the infidelity of the other party)

but you see, humans are always humans…they want to take advantage of each other..to be deemed as the fittest in his/her community..

the core of our darkened heart: SELFISHNESS

i watched 败犬女王 and one thing that really struck me was this statement..

男人撒谎是因为要让自己好过一点，女人撒谎是因为要让对方好过一点。

men lie because they want to make themselves feel better, but women lie because they want to make the other party feel better..

and man!how many times i have made that mistake..

saying that i forgive and understand, when i feel super insecure and fearful..

compromising on what i think and how i should behave, becos i want the other to be happy..

and guys get frustrated with girls..cos we don’t want to tell them honestly what we feel..but girls get frustrated becos in their perspective..they are caring for their other half..

so the only solution..is just to know, get insight..and be more understanding and sensitive..

so all in all..don’t you think it is amazing..

that in a world full of 6 billion people..

a guy decides to narrow down his choices..stop his “instinctual” desires..

and choose to cleave to ONE..

and a female decides to put all her time, energy…

and sacrifice for the continuation of this male’s love for her..

even if it costs her everything..

man! that in itself is a miracle:)

settle for nothing less,

we will definitely search that miracle out and live in it!

Relationships #1

i shall start penning down my thoughts and my lessons learnt throughout this whole period of time..things i have been pondering about and things that i finally understand:)

one of the greatest revelations i had this week is about who should my significant other be..

is he one that is drop-dead gorgeous…?

one with a glib tongue and lotsa charisma…?

one that is steadfast and highly stable…?

who should he be?

then i remembered what i learnt in the relationship conference about how Jesus is the reflection of God to the husband and the husband is a reflection of Jesus to the wife..

which means..when u’re with him..your self esteem increases..

(you never feel condemned or that you’re boring)

when u’re with him…changes for the better are led, not driven..

(you want to change…you don’t feel obligated to)

when u’re with him..love is a commitment..

(love is not a result of chance, EFFORT is put in)

when u’re with him..you know he will not leave you nor forsake you..

(you feel secure emotionally)

when u’re with him..he best expresses your personality.

(never afraid to show who you are..what you do..tell about how you feel..you can be you)

through a conversation with someone…she commented that all married couples are usually opposites in many many ways…

neat vs messy…slow vs efficient..noisy vs quiet..exercise freak vs couch potato..the list goes on..

and when i think about it..it s true..

precisely that we are different..thats why our personalities are impt to each other..

he does things i cant..i do things he cant..

precisely that we are different..that our characters can be moulded..

God meant relationships (through marriage) to be the completion of His wonderful plan of character moulding in our lives..

so celebrate differences!you’ll need his/her difference in your life some time in your life!

don’t try to make your partner someone he/she is not..

let him/her blossom in his/her own way..

cos’ that is what beautiful imperfection is:)

p.s: next post..is about expectations on your partner..something that i got a lot previously:)

Positively Worthed.

“sarah you must stay positive..

no matter what you face..

always know if God has a choice..

1. for you to do His will and be tired out

2. for you to be happy..

He wants you to be happy, even if  it means to give up His plans..”

“Sarah, you must focus on the protons..

for it is the neutrons and protons that give each atom its substance and mass..

remember..the electrons are negligible in size and mass!”

i have been steered towards this concept of positivity for the past few days..

days that i really feel like wallowing in my own woes..

and can’t raise above my situations..

i don’t want to be positive..

bah!what’s the use!

but then when i thought about it again..

being positive is to look at every situation with hope..

to just believe that something good can still turn out of this bleak situation..

the things i desire may seem to be impossible now..

but with positivity..it can happen..

what’s that, i asked myself..

then i realize..when you have positive thinking…

you are operating in the atmosphere of faith..

things unseen, things hoped for..

and the power of Holy Spirit can only move in the atmosphere of faith..

which means…

if i am positive..i have faith to overcome..not by my power, but His..

then i’ll be victorious, wont i?:)

so note to myself:

i will have beautiful days ahead..

because i am worth it!

“in the cool of the air..smiling radiantly, i will..

at the edge of the waters..prancing freely, i will..

you with me,and i with you..together, we will..”

i am definitely worth it:)

Common Grace.

i’m totally beat today…

my eyes are like squinting at the moment..

and my brain feels like it is being trampled upon..

i am very tired…period.

slept at 330am the night before..

and woke up at 726am..

went for driving at 815am..of which i almost banged upon a car..

who had a VERY irritating driver..*spat*

but my instructor says…i am a good lady driver!HAHAHA

then i went to meet pauline and the other leaders for post-bday celebration lunch..

had a really good time of fellowship since i havent really been talking to them..

yay!got capitaland vouchers!!!shopping!!:D

then i went for yoga class at true yoga..

good place, high quality..

still thinking whether to take up the package..

but in any case..i expended a lot of energy trying to de-suade them from hard selling to me..

went to hospital aft that to visit my uncle..

then now back home with a really zonked face..

and a really feeling like one ZOMBIE!!

but what impacted me the most today was..

that God uses anyone and everyone to speak to His children..

He never fails to use ANY circumstance, or person..

to remind u of His goodness or the things He has been trying to speak to you about…

my instructor today shared w me about his loss of his wife..

she passed away just 6weeks before their wedding..

and according to him..her death was his fault..

i was shocked and very sorry to hear that..

and at the same time..provoked..

cos what is my problem compared to his..

and if he got through these years with this regret and pain..

and is becoming a very successful man..(he is retiring when he is only 41)..

i definitely can too..

the most amazing thing he said was..

“it was VERY difficult, VERY heart breaking..

but i got through it..still having the regret and some pain..

but i moved on with my life..

so i guess it isn’t impossible..”

and sarah, it is very difficult…but definitely not impossible.

Keep Walking Sarah…

Keep Walking

God has been reminding me about this for the past 2 days…
He hasn’t been saying much when i cried out…
the phrase “keep walking” just kept surfacing…
and people around me have been confirming it…
so keep walking even if it is difficult…
cos it will never be impossible..

keep on keeping on..cos at the end of the day, we know we have the victory!

Dependancy.

the reason why people don’t want to believe in God..or commit to Him..or to just “give church a shot”…is not because they don’t believe in a Supreme Power..most surveys (those discussed in psychology) would tell you that in almost ALL human beings..spirituality is a real thing..its something everyone is conscious about..its an entity everyone seeks to understand..so religion is not a tool..in a sense, it is inherent inside of every human being..

so why do they say they DON’T BELIEVE?well, the only reason i can think of is that they can’t reconcile the fact that they have to depend on Someone or Something invisible..an Entity is that unseen and, in their perception, intangible..they would rather turn towards family, friends or themselves..why a God that doesnt show Himself physically among His people?

then it kept me thinking..and i finally understood why i am committed..why i will try my utmost best to serve His through eternity..and thats because i have EXPERIENCED Him..His love, joy, peace, faithfulness,acceptance, power etc etc..and seriously, i won’t be alive now if God hadn’t saved me..

just like oxygen…we can’t see it..we can’t even feel it (do you feel molecules brushing across your skin???o.O ) but we BELIEVE that oxygen is there..we KNOW that it exist and essential for life..why?cos the scientist told us..cos they EXPERIMENTED it out..its scientifically proven through the many hypotheses and discussions..and finally a conclusion..so even when u don’t see it floating in the air..we know its there..you have a dependancy on it..

so what about God…whats your hypothesis?

many people aren’t willing to dive into believing in God and loving Him cos they are either too afraid..or just simply indifferent..

but what if they had a hypothesis:

“TO PROVE THAT JESUS CHRIST IS THE ONLY ONE GOD.”

and they are willing to do experiments..opening up their hearts to experience Him..and prepared to accept failure (why not?)..

how many people do you think will come into the saving knowledge of Christ like i have?

all it takes is just to TRY..to TEST IT OUT..

“After you get saved, then you will realize how much effort God puts in to bring you to the realization of His existence and love.” -jacelyn tay

Greatness.

how great God is to you…is the measure of greatness that you will express to the world…your revelation of who God is and what He’ll do for you..is the way you will present yourself to people around you..

God is love to me..His love is unconditional, never failing, covers all..He pulls down, yet mends..He tramples, yet recreates..He remains silent, yet softly prompting towards the right way..and that is how i want to love…to love no matter what..to love despite all..to love is to give up oneself and for the benefit of others..

How great God is to you..is the measure of how great you will be..is the measure of how great the church will be..is the measure of how great His impact and love will be expressed to the world..

i must identify with Him..to know my destiny and purpose..to look through my life and know how great God is to me..that i can be an effective instrument..

greater things are yet to come..greater things are still to be done in this city..

by greater people in the church..

with the greatest God they serve.