Relationships #3: The Truth About Evolution

many people condemn evolution that it is against God’s laws etc..

but when i look into it a little deeper…

it may not be all that a taboo..

the main theme abt evolution is “SURVIVAL of the FITTEST“..

it is abt adaptation and how that helped in ur battle..

everything that evolution stands for..

our emotions, thoughts, instincts etc..

are all self-serving..we want to save ourselves..then our own kind..

what’s so erred about that?

when Adam and Eve sinned, pride, selfishness and independence from God set in..

we lived for ourselves..to protect, to survive as the FITTEST..

good results, great reputations, our excellent facades..

many relationships………………..(haha)

so maybe, evolution did happen and it simply highlights the happenings aft sin came into the world..and shows the current condition of man and his behaviour..well, the monkey part is just funny though..i view it more like a 画蛇添足..but as i have always learnt, looking similar doesn’t prove we came from there..it just means we came from the same Designer:)

ok, so what about relationships..

i read in psychology about the evolutionary perspective about males and females in dating r/s..

males, they say, want their genes to be passed on from generations to generations..

and they want their genes to have strong sustainability..

so they desire/instinctively want multiple partners..

so that’s the reason why guys find it harder to commit to one..they are less insensitive and more concerned about themselves…

females, they say, are more selective in their partners..as they are the ones carrying the offspring for 9mths, they must make sure their partner has the capability and trustworthiness to follow through that 9mths..

also, as they have invested so much during the 9 mths..they aren’t so willing to give up on their offspring and their partners..

so females tend to be more insecure, self-sacrificing..and TOLERANT (esp to the infidelity of the other party)

but you see, humans are always humans…they want to take advantage of each other..to be deemed as the fittest in his/her community..

the core of our darkened heart: SELFISHNESS

i watched 败犬女王 and one thing that really struck me was this statement..

男人撒谎是因为要让自己好过一点，女人撒谎是因为要让对方好过一点。

men lie because they want to make themselves feel better, but women lie because they want to make the other party feel better..

and man!how many times i have made that mistake..

saying that i forgive and understand, when i feel super insecure and fearful..

compromising on what i think and how i should behave, becos i want the other to be happy..

and guys get frustrated with girls..cos we don’t want to tell them honestly what we feel..but girls get frustrated becos in their perspective..they are caring for their other half..

so the only solution..is just to know, get insight..and be more understanding and sensitive..

so all in all..don’t you think it is amazing..

that in a world full of 6 billion people..

a guy decides to narrow down his choices..stop his “instinctual” desires..

and choose to cleave to ONE..

and a female decides to put all her time, energy…

and sacrifice for the continuation of this male’s love for her..

even if it costs her everything..

man! that in itself is a miracle:)

settle for nothing less,

we will definitely search that miracle out and live in it!

Relationships #2: Expectations

expectations.

the very entity that many shun away from..

“no expectations, no disappointment”

but is that really true..

or more appropriately..

is that even possible?

to me, having no expectation is like living in denial on one part..

and having the “no-expectation” attitude is an expectation on the other..

and it gets quite frustrating at times esp in a r/s..

cos how can one measure if i do or do not have expectations?

and many times..couples go through r/s telling each other..

we shouldnt have any expectations of each other..

we will just take things as it comes..

then all i can say is..

that’s just telling you..

i don’t want (not i can’t) to commit to you..

anything that comes along the way that deems as a better alternative..

off i go! (BOOMZ!)

but the best thing is..

having no expectations..is an expectation..

an expectation of no accountability..

an expectation of total freedom…

and keeping in a r/s like that..

is just downright selfish..

the other is living in self denial..thinking that the r/s will still work..

many couples break up because of the disparity in expectations..

i want marriage..he wants a fling..

i want commitment and quality time..he wants a companion when he is bored..

i want physical touch..he hates physical touch..

i want to be celebrated in his life..he wants to keep it a secret..

i want to know how he is feeling and thinking..he wants to be un-bothered..

and when such differences arise..

one party gets frustrated..the other hurt..

and both DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT’S WENT WRONG WITH EACH OTHER..

but being humans..we just continue on in this lie..until the truth hurts so bad that we have to let go..sad huh..but seeing so many..thats the reality..

r/s are very technical things..

we need to talk about it..

know where our endpoints are..

know what are our expectations of each other..

want things to work?

sit down and talk about it..

and both must stick to it..

JOINT AGREEMENT and RADICAL HONESTY..

so unless your r/s has both..

it is going to meet a multitude of problems..

so stop this “no expectations” nonsense..

just say what you want!

p.s: realized something very interesting about evolution and the difference between males and females..check it out another day!:)

Victor vs Victim?

he did it again..

but this time it was final..

he will be put behind those bars for a long long time..

an overwhelming uniformity surrounds him..

same shaved heads, same labelled clothes..

same beliefs, same attitudes..

even the same vulgar vocabulary one could hold..

he was trapped for life.

or, so he thought.

did any of them knew better?

“certainly not!”, a ringing exclamation..

“a deep, dark world,” a sure proclamation..

but little did he know..

there was something more..

a life that beheld success galore..

a healthy self image..

so anxiously craved for..

life took him aboard and made him soar..

now a double degree and a vast sea of opportunities..

he showed me that limits are just potentials to achieve more impossibilities..

why should we be victims of circumstance?

when God made us to be victors that stand..

difficulties, strife, troubles and tribulation..

will never stop us for His grace is sufficient..

a walking testimony, i would deem to JT..

i’m truly inspired with all certainty.

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